Badass Matriarch
Motherhood Meets Medicine
Episode 169: Supporting Teen Autonomy and Self-Determination with Researcher, Ellen Galinsky
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Episode 169: Supporting Teen Autonomy and Self-Determination with Researcher, Ellen Galinsky

It is not productive to think negatively of our childrens’ teenage years. Instead we need to find ways to embrace this time period and support the changes they’re experiencing while giving them room to grow, learn, and fail with us. 

But it seems like all the literature out there is designed to scare and dishearten parents as their children reach these later years. What should we be reading? 

Thankfully, Ellen Galinsky decided it was time to share the positive side of parenting teenagers. 

Ellen is President of Families and Work Institute, elected President of the Work and Family Researchers Network (WFRN), and senior research advisor to AASA, the School Superintendent Organization. Previous jobs include Chief Science Officer at the Bezos Family Foundation and faculty at Bank Street College. Her life’s work revolves around identifying important societal questions, conducting research to seek answers, and turning the findings into action. 

Her research is focused on work-life, children’s development, youth voice, child-care, parent-professional relationship, and parental development. She’s the author of the best-selling Mind in the Making and The Breakthrough Years. She’s also authored 90 books/reports and 360 articles. Career highlights include serving as President of NAEYC, a fellow of the National Academy of Human Resources, a parent expert on the Mister Rogers Talks with Parents TV series, receiving a Distinguished Achievement Award from Vassar College and the 2022 Lifetime Achievement Award from WFRN.

Listen as Ellen shares more about the research she’s done and how we as parents can lean into the teenage years in such a way that provides our children with opportunities to practice autonomy and self-determination. 

Disclaimer: This podcast does not provide medical advice. The information on this podcast is for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

In this episode, we discuss: 

What teens want most from us as parents.

Ways to give teens autonomy support.

What shared solutions are and how we can use them to help our teens build their executive function.

The five basic needs teenagers have.

Resources:

Message 1

Understanding Adolescent Development -

Research To Thrive By
Understanding Adolescent Development
I was at a neuroscience conference in 2019 when a tense disagreement erupted over what parents of teens understand about their children’s development. Because the field of adolescent studies had been laser-focused on risky behavior, some argued that researchers were conveying negative images to parents about their kids. They began to call each other out…
Read more

Message 2

Talk With, Not At Teens -

Research To Thrive By
Talk With, Not At Teens
Read more


Listening is Where Love Begins -

Research To Thrive By
“Listening is Where Love Begins”
Last week was Mister Rogers’ birthday. Today is the publication of my ninth book, The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens.Thanks for reading Research To Thrive By! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work…
Read more


A Skill-Building Approach: Don’t Hold the Leash Too Tight -

Research To Thrive By
A Skill-Building Approach: Don’t Hold the Leash Too Tight
We’ve probably all been there—something a young person does or says sets us off. Jasmin, the mother of soon-to-be-eleven-year-old Sophia, describes it as feeling so frustrated that everything else fades, spiraling, almost losing control—like the time Sophia lied to her…
Read more


Shared Solutions: An Autonomy Supportive Approach -

Research To Thrive By
Shared Solutions: An Autonomy Supportive Approach
Grace’s 12-year-old son came home from school, dumping his backpack on the floor, then his coat, then his homework, littering the path along the way to his iPad on the couch, where he escaped into games. Been there? I sure have. So has Grace and she knows what can happens next. She was tempted to let it go because he’d be occupied for hours and she had a …
Read more


Introducing a Possibilities Mindset -

Research To Thrive By
Introducing A Possibilities Mindset
If you’ve been a parent, think of a moment when you “lost it”—a moment when you didn’t act the way you wanted to deep down; a moment when you weren’t your best parenting self. That was a question that I asked in the in-person phone interviews I conducted with parents as one part of the Breakthrough Years studies—I wanted to better understand the thinking…
Read more

Message 3

The Power of Positive Risk Taking -

Research To Thrive By
The Power of Positive Risk Taking
Ingrid and a group of her friends were playing tetherball on a school camping trip, when her best friend came out of the cabin they were sharing with the popular girls and said, “Come on, we’re going to the boys’ side of camp.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “Come on, they’re all doing it…
Read more


Beyond Queen Bees, Wannabees, Masterminds, and Wingmen -

Research To Thrive By
Beyond Queen Bees, Wanabees, Masterminds and Wingmen
Mean kids—queen bees, wanabees, masterminds and wingmen—seem to be the stock characters in teen girls’ and boys’ worlds, as incisively depicted in Rosalind Wiseman’s books and Tina Fey’s movies and musicals. Does it have to be this way? Do Kids’ Worlds Have to be Mean Worlds…
Read more


Age Discrimination Hidden in Plain Sight -

Research To Thrive By
Age Discrimination—Hidden in Plain Sight
From the very first time I asked adolescents what they wanted adults to know about people their age, they said that some adults acted as if they weren’t smart, looked down on them, or treated them with less respect than they thought they deserved. Those are classical indicators of discrimination!! That wasn’t something I expected to hear…
Read more


Understanding Adolescent Development -

Research To Thrive By
Understanding Adolescent Development
I was at a neuroscience conference in 2019 when a tense disagreement erupted over what parents of teens understand about their children’s development. Because the field of adolescent studies had been laser-focused on risky behavior, some argued that researchers were conveying negative images to parents about their kids. They began to call each other out…
Read more

Questions: 

What do teens most want from their parents?

What are teenagers' 5 basic needs?

What are shared solutions? How can these help our teens with executive function?

How to support our kids with risk taking?

Discussion about this podcast

Badass Matriarch
Motherhood Meets Medicine
The Motherhood Meets Medicine Podcast is a space that brings all women together. It's for those who hope to be a mom one day, those who are already mothers, and mothers of mothers. This podcast will give you candid, informal interviews on motherhood topics that you can listen to while you're driving to work, folding laundry or whatever else your busy day may bring. Each week, Your host, Lynzy Coughlin, will be focusing on topics ranging from postpartum issues to feeding babies to managing toddler tantrums. She's bringing in experts with formal training to cover everything motherhood! So grab your coffee and join us for a weekly chat on your time. All are welcome! Lynzy is a Physician Assistant in the Emergency Department where she has practiced medicine for the last 12 years. You can connect with Lynzy on her Motherhood Life & Style Instagram account, @lynzyandco. This is where you'll have the chance to submit questions for guest experts.