WEEKLY EDITION: April 26th
ASHEVILLE! - Are we over parenting? - One of my favorite episodes on pre-teens and teens + so much more
Happy Friday!
* be sure to click on the "message clipped" at the bottom of the email to read the entire newsletter - sometimes it gets cut off at the bottom.
Hi everyone,
Happy Friday!
I am currently in Asheville, NC with Karla + Ailsa (+ our husbands)! I am thrilled to be back together with them again and truly cherish our time together. If you have any great recs for us, let me know! :)
I finally switched over my sale alert emails to Substack. You can see that substack publication here + subscribe if you want to receive emails when there is a sale worthy of an email.
I finished The Anxious Generation this week and I have SO many thoughts. One thought that stood out to me the most was the points that he made about our kids having less and less independence since the 1980’s. Heck, when I was a child I roamed freely in my neighborhood until the street lights came on and I did that at a very young age. I played with all my neighborhood kids (all different ages) and I do think it had a significant impact on my confidence and ability to interact with others.
Here are a few quotes that I found to be powerful from the book:
“Well-intentioned parents who try to raise their children in a bubble of satisfaction, protected from frustration, consequences, and negative emotions, may be harming their children. They may be blocking the development of competence, self-control, frustration tolerance, and emotional self-management. Several studies find that such “coddling” or “helicopter parenting” is correlated with later anxiety disorders, low self-efficacy (which is the inner confidence that one dan do what is needed to reach one’s goals), and difficulty adjusting to college.
Children are intrinsically antifragile, which is why overprotected children are more likely to become adolescents who are stuck in defend mode. In defend mode, they’re likely to learn less, have fewer close friends, be more anxious, and experience more pain from ordinary conversations and conflicts.”
“Like young trees exposed to wind, children who are routinely exposed to small risks grow up to become adults who can handle much larger risks without panicking.”
“If a child goes through puberty doing a lot of archery, or painting, or video games, or social media, those activities will cause lasting structural changes in the brain, especially if they are rewarding.”
“Life on the internet changed how his brain sought out information, even when he was offline trying to read a book. It reduced his ability to focus and reflect because he now craved a constant streat of stimulation: “Once I was a scuba divre in a sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a jet ski.””
“This never-ending stream of interruptions — this constant fragmentation of attention — takes a toll on adolescents’ ability to think and may leave permanent marks in their rapidly reconfiguring brains."
Please feel free (as always) to send me anything you read, watched, cooked or listened to lately that you really loved. I really enjoy hearing from you! Just HIT REPLY to this email and it will be sent right to me!
xo L
(this is one of my favorite episodes to date - Dr. Cam was so much fun to talk with and I loved her insight on pre-teens + teens)
Have you ever thought to yourself, man I’m dreading the teen years… I am not ready for the snark, attitude and hormones. Why can’t my babies stay babies?
Come to find out, it’s this type of thinking that can and will lead to the teen years being way more difficult than they have to be. So what can you do to maintain your connection with your teens as they grow into themselves and your relationship evolves?
Here to share is Cameron Caswell, PhD, otherwise known as the teen translator is an adolescent psychologist and parent coach TEDx speaker, host of the parenting teens with Dr. Cam podcast and co author of improving school mental health, the thriving school community solution. Dr. Cam is the mom of a teen too, so she not only talks the talk, she walks the walk. Dr. Cam also offers a virtual community for parents raising teens called the thriving Parent Academy.
Toward the very end of the conversation Dr. Cam said something that I plan to write down and hang in my kitchen. Start from a place of curiosity rather than accusation or blame. When something happens, take a breath, don’t immediately react. Instead, let your kids tell you more about what happened.
Ask questions. Be curious.
This will empower them to come to you when things feel bigger and heavier than what they can handle.
*I really hated the outfit selfies in the mirror so now I just record a video and screenshot from it. I feel like it looks more natural with the outfit “moving” so to speak. This is why it will at times appear a little blurry :)
Trust me when I say that you will LOVE this simple tee and it comes in a ton of colors! — SLVRLAKE Denim (purchased years back) — Old Navy Banded Sandals (years old but similar here) — ABLE Mandrell Tote 30% off with code: LYNZYMOM30 until May 7th— Woman Power Necklace
Woman Power Necklace — ABLE Ingrid Sweater Vest - 30% off with code: LYNZYMOM30 until May 7th — Zara Marine Pant — Old Navy Banded Sandals (many years old but similar here) — Clare V. Mirabel + checkered strap — Akila Apollo Sunglasses
Zara Coat (old)— Black Tee — Old Navy High Waisted Sweatpant (these shrink lengthwise so keep that in mind when ordering petite vs. regular vs. tall) — Adidas Samba Sneakers - Woman Power Necklace
LISTEN || Esther Perel on New AI - Artificial Intimacy | Unlocking Us with Brene Brown Podcast → My friend Natalie sent me this and it was damn good. Brene asks Esther in the beginning if she thinks we are lliving beyond human scale right now (in reference to AI) and Esther’s response is perfection —
“What I see and what I do and who I work with and why I speak about what I speak about is because the longing, the yearning, the quest, the sheer need for connection, for community, for transcending the burdens of the self that have never been heavier, for having freedom that is unprecedented, but also living with the tyranny of doubt and uncertainty that is unprecedented, that’s what I am working with. I’m looking at what’s on the other side of this. The bigger things go, the more people are looking for something that is actually nurturing. In my world, the other AI is the rise of artificial intimacy.”
LISTEN || The Cult of Stanley Cups | Sounds like a Cult Podcast → I learned quite a bit about the history of stanley cups in this episode. Has your child asked you for one of these insanely stupid cups yet?! ;)
LISTEN || Your Right to Protest? Not the Supreme Court’s Problem | Slate → This short podcast episode dives into a case you may not have heard of - Doe v. McKesson. This case is about who is responsible when a protest goes wrong. This case has been bouncing around through lower courts for about a year now - the Supreme Court has “kept it on ice” for 5 years. Basically this keeps many from forming protest groups because if even one person mis behaves in that protest - the organizer can be found at fault (which is craziness). It’s an interesting listen and something we should all be aware of.
WATCH || The Teen Brain | Tiffany Shlain & Let It Ripple Studio → A great video that interviews psychologists and doctors about what is happening within the teenage brain
READ || I’m an ER Doctor. If the Supreme Court Upends EMTALA, Patients Will Die. | Rewire→ “We are watching reproductive health care crumble around us, leaving patients stranded and in very real crises. The risk is not only from the lack of access to necessary medical stabilization, but also leaving pregnant people with no one to treat them after.”
The best $15 shoes for hiking and playing for little kids in the summer
Do you remember these? Great for playing outside!
Looks like those of us in the Northeast will be roasting this summer…
Does anyone else want to just relax here (below) for the rest of the day?!
I worked with Bombas when I was on Instagram years ago and to be honest, it is still one of my favorite brands that I ever worked with. The last few shifts I worked in the ED I noticed that a few of our homeless patients were wearing Bombas socks and it made me smile because they are truly a brand that backs what they say. They donate ONE pair for every one pair (this goes for any item on their website) purchased. THIS IS NOT sponsored :) I am pretty sure you can use the code: COMFORT20 for 20% off your first purchase
I am reading this on our trip - a friend highly recommended it!
Looks like teachers can now be trusted in Tennessee with guns but not with books - what an interesting concept. A great read about defensive gun use here.
Totally going to use some of these cooking hacks
We have issues with flies in our trash can outside in the summer once it’s hot and this is intriguing! It emits an odorless vapor that kills them
So apparently this $11 eye cream helps a lot with undereye circles and I am here for it - I will keep you updated!
I am in love with this bikini that I just got from Old Navy! The ditsy floral print is really cute and the top has padding which I like. Top/Bottoms (they also offer a higher rise bottom but I am not a fan of those)
I cooked these meatballs last week and they were a hit
If you are looking for a great sports bra - this one is amazing
We have this battery rechargeable light in our stairway and it’s so cozy. I love that you don’t need to figure out crazy electrical wiring anymore! See it work in my video in the beginning of this post
The Supreme Court heard oral arguments for a very important EMTALA case this week and the justices seem to be divided over the issue. Imani Gandi wrote this great piece about what EMTALA is and why it’s in the Supreme Court for those of you wanting to learn more about this really important case. (side note: what irritated me about these oral arguments is that the “hypothetical” always made the male a physician and the female - a nurse). Anyways, can you IMAGINE a world in which people were debating whether or not men were able to have a medical procedure? Yea, me either…
If you want to read the live feed from the day of the oral arguments from the NY Times - I gifted the link here for you so that you can open and read it!
Read - Emergency rooms refused to treat pregnant women, leaving one to miscarry in a lobby restroom - this is what the future looks like when providers are scared to be sued and/or lose their jobs that they worked incredibly hard for. You cannot make laws governing a women’s body - they are ALWAYS up for interpretation and depending on what court and what judge you get, you never know how it will be interpreted.
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I am listening to The Anxious Generation on audible and it had me emotional in some parts thinking about my daughters suffering because of social media. I can tell you it cemented me and my husbands decision to not allow them to have social media until at LEAST 16. I knew it was harmful but I didn’t realize how much so. The stories and data shared in the book were very enlightening.
Asheville is so fun! We love Chai Pani for amazing Indian food and Biscuit Head for southern comfort style breakfast food (be ready for a long line though unless you go early!). There are also lots of great breweries: Wicked Weed, Burial, Urban orchard cider… have fun!